The Best Book Ever Written

In Kindergarten today, Joshua was asked for his choice of the Best Book Ever Written. His choice?

My Life as a Chicken, "as told to" Ellen A. Kelley. AMZ

Linkin' Valenties Day and Presidents' Day

Joshua always comes up with these doozy questions right before he falls asleep like "What is God anyway?" and "Why is the night sky black?" This one gets special mention:
On Valentines day Joshua got a five dollar bill from my father.

Joshua:	"Who's this guy on the money?"
Judith:	"It's Abe Lincoln - he was our president a long time ago - today is his birthday and we celebrate him because he was such an amazing leader."
Joshua:	"Who's coming to his party?"
Judith:	"He died a long time ago."
Joshua:	"How did he die?"
Judith:	"John Booth shot him."
Joshua:	"What happened to John Booth?"
and the conversation kind-of went on like that. Two days later:
Joshua:	"Do Aliens exist?"
Judith:	"Some people think so."
Joshua:	"What do we think?"
Judith:	"Sounds like you don't know what you think yet."
Joshua:	"What do you think?"
Judith:	"I think there are galaxies that we've yet to explore and there may be life on those Galaxies."
Joshua:	"Are there Aliens on Earth?"
Judith:	"I don't know Joshua."
Joshua:	"I think there are and they are here to protect people like Abe Lincoln from people like John Booth."
Pause.....
Joshua:	"I hope Obama doesn't get shot.... I think the Aliens are here to protect Obama...."

credit to Judith for capturing this story

What's Lint

Joshua: What's in my pocket?

Mama: Lint

Joshua: What's "lint"?

Mama: Fabric sheds. You know how Taji sheds?

Dada: The fabric slowly falls apart.

Joshua (incredulous, terrified): Taji is going to fall apart?!?!?!?

Sleep or Rest

"Did you rest or did you sleep?"

"What did you want me to do?"

"Sleep."

"Then I slept."

"No, I want you to tell me what you really did."

"I slept."

Striped Hair

"I don't want to go to Bateman Park. I don't want to go to see Nana's friends.

"Who are nana's friends?"

"Roberta"

"Who's Roberta?"

"She has striped hair, like you."

Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

"Mama, what does 'entranced' mean?

Pronunciation Guide

"Chawk-o-lick."

It's kinda better that way.

First Joke- 3.5 years

Joshua is playing with his truck and trying to engage Mom to be one of them while she's is nursing Benjamin

Joshua: You can be Lofty and I will be Speedy Benny.
Mom: Is Benny fast or is he really fast?
Joshua: Actually, Mama, he's slow.
Mom: OK, well then I can ride with him?
Joshua: Well, you can catch-up......[laughs] Do you want fries with that?!

Madison

On the arrival of his brother:
The Backdrop -

Two weeks after Benjamin's arrival, Madison, our 8 year old Maine Coon finally succumbed (at home  to kidney failure.  We had him cremated, and his ashes scattered across a mountainside.  A few weeks later, we got a card with a picture of the mountainside, which we posted in the kitchen.

Joshua says:  So,  where is Benjamin going to live?  Mom:  Well,  I'm kinda attached to him - I thought he'd live here with us - that be ok with you?.  Joshua: Not really.   Silence    Joshua:  May be he could live with Abigail - I think Jazzy wants a little brother
Mom:  Oh, it's going to be great to be a big brother - you can teach him to do all sorts of things like eat, run, play ball.....  Joshus:  Well, if Abigail doesn't want him may be he can go live where Madison lives.

I can't work under these conditions!

Joshua and I were assembling a new Playmobile Airplane - a rather complicated affair, with lots of parts.  Benjamin was getting tired and hungry and started crying.  Loudly.

"Mama," Josh said, expecting action, "I can't work when the baby's crying."

Foggy

"The fog's rolled in," says Mama.

"Rolled into what?" he asks.